J did this, and i'm in a cheesy ass mood, so here:

1. Your rock star name (first pet, current car): athena ranger

2. Your gangsta name (fave ice cream flavour, favourite type of shoe): vanilla new balance (haha)

3. Your Native American name (favorite color, favorite animal): blue puppy

4. Your soap opera name (middle name, city where you were born): irene fullerton (haha this is my favorite one so far)

5. Your Star Wars name (the first 3 letters of your last name, the first two letters of your first name): hobkr (hmmm bummer)

6. Superhero name (2nd favourite colour, favourite drink): green coffee (now this i like)

7. NASCAR name (the first names of your grandfathers): ernest elmer (this is no lie. seriously.)

8. Stripper name (the name of your favourite perfume/cologne/scent, favourite candy): love marshmallow

10. TV weather anchor name (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter): laos lincoln (grody)

11. Spy name (your favourite season/holiday, flower): fall daisy

12. Cartoon name: (favourite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): banana brown shirt

13. Hippie name (What you ate for breakfast, your favourite tree): egg pine

it's sprung!

it's a fucking awesome day. spring is so obviously the best part of the year, however brief it seems. i forget this though. i think the forgetting is a coping mechanism to get me through the fucking INSANITY of summer and the seemingly endless just cold enough to really start to get annoying winters. but now it's officially here. yellow and purple everywhere, red chested birds jumping around my yard, people walking by the window in our front room, talking, pushing strollers, walking dogs. it's here! we all feel it, and it's fucking awesome.

unlocking my front door after work, coming into a house that feels like mine, a lock that feels familiar, a dog that's starting to feel like mine, drawn on toilet seats in all the spare chairs, anticipating working tonight, and actually feeling cheerful about it. THIS is spring. ahhhh, i now have some time to soak it in and believe it will never end.

rainbow pony wednesday

first draft of new seat:


i'm contemplating a glitter background.

hang tough, motherfucker

i realized that i didn't post a pic of the finished cobra seat, so here it is:

seriously?

this is saint bonaventure, the patron saint of bowel disorders.

i don't deserve another perfect day!

i have smoke, diet soda, cold medicine, and DIGITAL CABLE WITH HBO. fuck yeah, it's a good day. beck isn't here though. THAT would make it all perfect.

the weather outside is insanely glorious. because nashville weather defines erratic, i've learned to appreciate the sporadic loveliness. the front door is open, wind is softly blowing through the screen door. the ceiling fan in my playroom is on medium and it's the perfect temperature in here.

"breaking bad" is on demand, and i am SO happy to just sit in the sun lit room and smoke and watch awesome cable. perhaps i'll order a pizza. i can't have calypso nachos 6 times in 2 weeks, can i? can i?

until i decide i need food, i will bask in the glory of hundreds of channels and dream about toilet seat drawings. at 8 you will find me back to my thursday normalcy, with kate, sawyer, and sayid on a magic island that can shift time.

best thursday ever.

poop on this!

CHECK THIS SHIT OUT. i just might have found my calling.

i'm sick but i'm pretty (haha fuck you so what if i know this song)

thankfully, mara is working my shift tonight because i slept for approximately 1 hour last night. my coughing and snot puddles kept waking me up. and rebecca discovered this morning that scooter's water bowl was dry which perhaps explains why he woke up every hour and ran around the house barking and keeping me even more awake.

in reality, the day is pretty great though. i'm getting cable tomorrow, which is awesomely fun, and i'm hoping to get some green so i can just sit and smoke and watch "lost" since i have tomorrow night off.

i also have a new project i'm working on, so i'm off to the craft store today. here's a preview of my first prototype:





the next one is going to involve sequins and jewels. pretty awesome.

so anyway, hopefully this shitty feeling from my work encounter fades, and hopefully i can get a nap in. but, for now, i'm happy watching roseanne and planning toilet seat art.

quote of the day:

(by rebecca, while watching "la vie en rose")

"dude, she's totally hitting the hypo. not cool."

scooter is not very excited about watching roseanne with me when i get home from my morning job. perhaps this should make me feel guilty; i know he'd rather i run around with him for a bit. instead, it only makes me question his judgment. what rational dog wouldn't want to sit and watch the best sitcom ever?

this roseanne episode is really heavy though, so maybe i don't blame him. i love this show so much. every couple of years i rediscover it, and watch it daily for a bit. i was always really envious of their family. my family had more money than they did, but in my family, we didn't get to fight like they did. if there's anything i truly wish was different in my life- now and in the past- i wish i knew how to fight without worrying that the person i'm fighting with will abandon me forever. i went for a time trying to avoid conflicts of all kinds. this, it turns out, is impossible. so now i tend to resort to ugly and really mean spirited occassional outbursts. roseanne was really so ahead of her time. as crazy as that family was at times, they spoke to each other so openly. oh my god, roseanne talking to dj about why she hit him and how her father hit her, and dj saying "i'm sorry you got hit" and roseanne saying "i'm sorry you got hit too." makes me want to cry. ok, whatever, maybe i did cry a little.

i don't think scooter would mind watching roseanne if rebecca was here. he misses her, and i do too. i've never known someone i can be around so much and never get sick of. everything is better with her around.

lately, i'm serving at the restaurant again, and i'm kind of loving it. i keep thinking about 10 or 15 years from now, and how i have no idea where we'll be or what will be happening in life exactly, but i know that without a doubt i'll look at this year and the ones surrounding it as some of the best of my life. the people around me make up a community i thought existed only in shows like "gilmore girls." i know someone at every place that i shop, all the banks, the corner stores, every restaurant and bar is filled with familiar faces. every few cars that i watch pass my house is driven by someone who i recognize or who recognizes me. how awesome is that.

i have no doubt that someday somewhere else, i'll have an amazing life with new people and old people in it to varying degrees, and i can be really happy in a new way. but i want to make sure i remember this time as the first time i've ever been really happy and felt certain that the people who love me will not abandon me.